My mom's birthday was January 23. As the day started to approach I started to feel some anxiety about it. As it got closer I decided it wasn't a time to be sad, but a time to remember her and how much we all love her. I set up a dinner with all the adults in the family (except for Jeni and Jason who are in San Francisco and Chad who is in Montreal, dang them!)
My family is so much fun I knew I couldn't be sad if I was with them. I was looking back at pictures of my mom and seeing how much she changed in the end. Both her appearance and her spirit. She became so much less worried about things, you'd think that cancer would be a major worry in itself, but it really wasn't. I remembered one day up a LDS hospital there was a nurse that was taking care of her after her surgery. As we got to know her more she told us that her husband was terminally ill, and that they had many financial problems. She said, "but you want to know what we do? We sit at the kitchen table and blow bubbles. It just makes you feel better, it is hard to worry about anything when you are blowing bubbles!" My mom went home and bought bottles and bottles of bubbles and whenever the grand kids came over she didn't want them to be afraid of how much she had changed, so she just blew bubbles with them. 
I am not a person that gets over things very quickly. I tend to get really comfortable in my grief and feel like it is showing my mom how much I love her by being completely consumed in missing her. Things have gotten better over the last 22 months, but it has been really hard to let go of the sadness. I was listening to a lecture by Wayne Dyer called "It is never crowded along the extra mile". One idea that he talked about is talking to your brain. He said when you are in pain over something you can tell your brain to forget the pain. I have been trying this, not really believing that it would work, but it actually has. Whenever I come across something of my mom's or some memory I tell myself that it is o.k to remember the memory, but to forget the pain. I have felt like a great burden has been lifted. I can remember without all the sadness and pain. I can blow bubbles!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
TIME TO BLOW BUBBLES
Posted by The Baros Family at 11:06 AM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
What a nice way to celebrate your mom's birthday!! I love the idea of just "Blowing Bubbles". It's hard to beleive it has almost been 2 years since she left. You have come along way in just a short time.
I'll blow bubbles with you! What great advice from that nurse. My dad was just diagnosed with prostate cancer this week..surgery looks to take care of it, but this idea will be great to pass on to him. I think cancer just makes you take a step back and walk slower. Blowing bubbles is what we'll do while we wait.
Cool bubbles picture, did you take that? Jas and I went out to dinner too on your mom's day and rented a movie, since we thought that's what she would've done.
Post a Comment