So it didn't take very long for the judgments and criticism to get to me. I was tempted to just delete my blog, but there is stuff in there I want to remember, so I am making it private. Some people think my writing about having hard moments or days must mean that is how I am living my whole life, that I can't see any of the good. If that were the case I would be dead by now. Most of the time if I write it out I can move on and have a good productive day. I am getting better at finding my own coping skills, but I realize I don't need other people to worry about what my days are like or make me feel like I must be miserable all the time. I AM NOT! The fact is no one can understand the things I have been through and the things I go through, the same way I don't understand their lives. It is so easy to look at some one's life and see the "easy fix". I think I am done sharing for a while. My life is messy and crazy, and beautiful. I learn so much about myself and human behavior everyday. It is sad to me that people think that is a lesser way to live life. So what I thought was a good idea has come back to bite me in the butt. For a while I think I will keep my thoughts to myself. Thank you to those of you who have been so supportive and encouraging. Thank you to those who see the good in me and not just the messed up parts.
Friday, February 18, 2011
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1 comments:
I completely support your decision Lori, I ve been there and all your words sounded so true to me. There are times in life that are more difficult than others, trials more difficult than others, and it takes a lot of energy just to figure out how to get better and cope with it. For some reason I discovered too that some feel the need to judge and to say just the things that will bring you down. I ve always wondered why, but now I really think it is just human nature undisciplined. So at a time when we need extra love and support, it is a good idea to find a shield against the aggressive environment that lives with judgment, self righteousness and false perspective on what life is really about. I think when we go through the refining fire, we have to simplify our lives so that we can focus on feeling the peace from our Heavenly Father and rebuilding ourselves stronger and gathering all we can learn from it to make it ours forever. I love you and I appreciate you showing me that your life is not all pink and that you have your struggles too. I ve been so lonely in my grief, and I hope you can find people loving enough to see you as Heavenly father loves you, because I dont want you to go through your bad days alone. Please remember me as your faithful friend....Lucie
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